It Was the Very Wishy Washy Time of Night...

Many nights at bedtime my mind kicks into high gear with ideas and strategies for how to best do all the things I want to do in life. I feel so inspired that I almost want to skip the whole night and get started right away on the next day. Other nights I start to feel bombarded with doubts. I think we all have a certain time of day that doubts try to creep in.

If I ever feel doubtful it is generally at night before bed. Things that seem like a wonderful challenge during the day tend to be much more scary at bedtime when I'm worn out. I am always the the most vulnerable and discouraged at night when I'm tired.

It is so helpful to know this about myself. I am able to notice when I'm feeling unsure of myself which gives me a chance to choose to set my worries aside and reconsider my life with renewed perspective the next morning.

I have also learned that when I'm feeling doubts creeping in I should never make any important decisions. I would never accomplish anything important in life if I didn't put off decision making until I have a peaceful perspective.

Things generally are much clearer after a good night's sleep.

Each day has fresh grace from heaven and sometimes the grace for the day runs out just before it is time for me to close my eyes and recharge.

Here's one of my favorite songs for refocusing and de-stressing:

Sorrow may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Ps. 30:5

a couple oldies


Soaking for Life Here's a peek into my soaking journey:

First off, let me tell you what soaking typically looks like for me. It used to be that I would lock myself in my bedroom for an hour, turn on some worship music, lay on my bed, invite Holy Spirit to visit with me, and then just rest. Lately, the kids are at a point, where I am able to soak in the living room without too many distractions. I just tell them to go down to the basement or to lay down and soak with me. So far, they've picked the basement....but I'm hoping that just them seeing me soaking is making an impact.

Now, sometimes when I soak, it totally just feels like I'm "putting in my time" (it still counts), but other times it feels like my heart is soaring. Today was the latter! I love it when Holy Spirit just comes, and I can feel Him so strongly. It is so refreshing and makes me want Him so much more. I have always loved Holy Spirit, even though I wasn't always aware of it. Looking back, I can see it so clearly.

When I was growing up, I went to a small, very conservative Baptist school. EVERY Friday in chapel, we'd sing a scripture song: "they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength, they shall rise up on wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not grow faint, teach me Lord, oh teach me Lord to wait". At the time, I had no idea what that song was talking about. It was just something we ALWAYS sang. However, God answered the prayer in that song, and has really taught me what it means to lay quietly and wait on Him to renew my strength. There is nothing like it.

Today as I was resting in His presence, I was overwhelmed once again with love and gratitude for my wonderful husband, each of my 4 little people, and each one of our spiritual kids. I love each one of you soooo much. I am so blessed and honored to be a part of your lives. The future is so bright, and we're gonna see goodness and mercy just tracking us down wherever we go.

I hope that by reading this, you catch a hunger to connect with Jesus alone, in a secret place, just the two of you. It really is soaking for life.

Some Thoughts on Being a Wife

Women are very powerful....more powerful than we sometimes realize.

There's this little verse in Proverbs that basically says, "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."

So, here's what I'm thinking: Men need respect, as opposed to women who need love. One of the main goals of the enemy is to destroy families, and I'm convinced that one of his main strategies is to get the wife not to respect the husband.

It can start out with subtle thoughts like, "Why does he always_________?!!" or "Why can't he just___________?!!"

If I give these thoughts permission to stay, they will grow, sink down deep in my heart, and create a stronghold.

Now, just the fact that I have the initial thought does not seal my fate as a horrible wife. I don't have any control over the initial thought. I do, however, get to decide if I'm going to nurse the thought, or resist it and begin to count all the things I appreciate about my husband.

It's like taking time to count your blessings; It's a sure way to give the devil a huge blow! Just when he thinks he's got you going down the path of self-pity which leads to destruction, it back fires on him. Now, that's being a warrior bride!

When we respect our husbands, they can't help but respond in love, creating a very strong bond of unity and trust.

So go ahead, show the men in your life some respect and give the devil a big black eye!

Working towards Heart Connection with our God


I love Holy Spirit so much.  He's just so good.  The intimate fellowship that I experience with Him is like nothing else in this life.  It fills me with peace that is beyond comprehension.  I know that this is a huge part of what Jesus was talking about when He said, "I come to give you life, and life more abundant."  I'm so thankful to Jesus that He went to His Father and sent Holy Spirit to us: the Spirit of Truth who teaches us everything we need to know. The devil hates for us to experience this sweet fellowship with Holy Spirit.  He whispers so many lies to keep us from this divine connection.  Some of the lies he used on me over the years were:  "You're not really hearing from the Lord or feeling anything really spiritual.  You are just making that up," "You're not as spiritual as other people, so you might as well serve others and not even try to have spiritual encounters, " and "If you were really spiritual, you could connect with God without using music as a crutch."    Wow, do you see how accusing those statements are?  I had to learn to recognize where the thoughts in my head were coming from.  Any thought that is accusing and keeping me from connecting with God, definitely is not from God!!  What freedom!  When I realized that all of these years I really had been so sincere in my love for God, and that He knew it and loved that about me, I started to enter into His presence in a whole new way.  Now when I lie down to soak, I have confidence.  I know that I love Him, and He loves me.  I have thoughts running through my head like, "Holy Spirit, I love you so much.  I love it when you come and spend time with me," "Jesus, thank you so much that I'm am clean, and it's my nature to love," and "Father, thank you that I'm your child and you love to give me good gifts."

That's a little of my journey in connecting with Him, who is our Life.  I hope you are encouraged to keep working towards heart connection with the One who loves you like no other.

Perfect Peace

Did you know that you can live in perfect peace?  Did you know that fear and worry are tools of the enemy to keep you from your destiny?  I'm so tired of the enemy tricking us into thinking that fear and worry are some kind of normal emotion.  For women it seems to be so socially acceptable to worry about our kids or family members.   That's nuts.  Fear and worry are evil spirits that we can choose to stand against or agree with.  It's a battle.  We need to see it for what it is and fight.  Let's not agree with the enemy and let him have place to rule in our hearts.
Ok, where to begin:  we have to be aware of our self talk....the voices in our head.  Every single thought you have is not your own.  The devil whispers lies constantly and we have to practice recognizing them and not agreeing with them.  It is great to have a healthy friend or spiritual parent to tell your thoughts to.  They should be able to help you decide where the thought is coming from.  When we agree with God's thoughts towards us, we grow in peace and joy.  When we agree with the enemy, we open the door for him to come in and destroy our peace.
Holy Spirit is our friend and helper.  We need Him so much.  As we take time to value Him and soak in His presence, He fills us up.  The enemy will do everything he can to keep you from soaking.  I bet everyone of us could come up with a huge list of reasons why we don't have time or just can't soak.  Soaking takes practice.  Isaiah 26:3.  Quieting your heart does not come natural to everyone.  You have to really set aside at least 20 minutes and practice.  Put on some worship music that touches your heart and invite Holy Spirit to come.  It's helpful to have a notebook to write stuff down.  Write down things to do that come to your mind and try to distract you so you can deal with them later.  Write down things Holy Spirit whispers to your heart.  If you take time to practice soaking, it will become easier.  Getting to that place of peace and rest is vital.  I love how Heidi Bakker says that the more stressful life gets, the more she soaks.  It's just that important.
Rom. 14:17  Righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit....that's the kingdom of God.  We need to know our identity.  That we are in Christ.  That we have a new nature.  It is our nature to love.  It is not our nature to sin or fear.  When we agree with this, we realize just what amazing news the gospel is and we have faith to live at a whole new level.  Peace and joy are natural byproducts.
Please comment one fear that you are choosing to let go of today!