how to decide

What To Do When You Just Can't Decide

Do you ever have a hard time making a decision? It can be especially hard if you're the type of person who really wants to get it right. The higher the stakes, the harder the choice.

Things can seem so foggy when you're looking at your own life, but when you look into someone else's situation it's often very clear. We tend to either be really hard on ourselves or go too easy on ourselves. If you can't make a decision or you just don't know what to do, imagine yourself advising someone else in your situation. What would you tell them? 

It can be really hard to make a choice when you highly value doing the right thing. As long as you aren't choosing to do something in violation of God's ways or your conscience, you can move forward with courage and confidence. Even if you choose "wrong", God is able to make everything work out for your best.

When you have a decision to make:

  • Pray about it

  • If you're married, get into unity with your spouse about it

  • Bounce it off the people in your inner circle

  • Say no to fear

  • Pick the "scary but exciting option"

To break free from gridlock, you will have to choose to let go of all of the "what if's" and move forward.  If at some point the peace leaves, you can choose to make a change.

KEY IDEA: PRAY, SUBMIT TO GOD, GET IN PEACE,

AND CHOOSE THE "SCARY BUT EXCITING" CHOICE!

 
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It Was the Very Wishy-Washy Time of Night...

Many nights at bedtime my mind kicks into high gear with ideas and strategies for how to best do all the things I want to do in life. I feel so inspired that I almost want to skip the whole night and get started right away on the next day. Other nights I start to feel bombarded with doubts. I think we all have a certain time of day that doubts try to creep in.

If I ever feel doubtful it is generally at night before bed. Things that seem like a wonderful challenge during the day tend to be much scarier at bedtime when I'm worn out. I am always the most vulnerable and discouraged at night when I'm tired.

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It is so helpful to know this about myself. I am able to notice when I'm feeling unsure of myself which gives me a chance to choose to set my worries aside and reconsider my life with renewed perspective the next morning.

I have also learned that when I'm feeling doubts creeping in I should never make any important decisions. I would never accomplish anything important in life if I didn't put off decision making until I have a peaceful perspective.

Each day has fresh grace from heaven and sometimes the grace for the day runs out just before it is time to close your eyes and recharge. Things generally are much clearer after a good night's sleep.

When Wisdom Turns Into Fear

I like to research and thoroughly think things through before moving forward or making a decision. While this habit is wise, if taken too far it indicates a problem.

The problem comes in when we get so worried about making a wrong choice, that we can't bring ourselves to make a choice at all. This is what the Bible calls being double-minded.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. James 1:5-8

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God has all of the wisdom you need to make a good choice. You do not need to be bound by the fear of making the wrong choice. Ask God to help you, then make a choice grounded in peace and move forward knowing that you can readjust if you need to.

Key Idea: A confident person is not paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake, because they realize they can recover from a mistake.

What To Do When You Can't Decide...

Sometimes it can be really hard to make a choice. It's especially hard if you're the type of person who really wants to get it right. The higher the stakes, the harder the choice.

I recently had to make a hard choice in parenting. It was so difficult because parenting my kids is one the most important things to me. I went back and forth between a couple of options, back and forth, back and forth.

Here's how I landed on my decision:

  • I prayed about it
  • I got into unity with my husband about it
  • I bounced it off the people in my inner circle
  • I fought off fear
  • I finally picked the "scary but exciting option"

You see, I felt the Lord speak to me that the "scary but exciting option" was actually His provision for our family. I chose to let go of all of the "what if's" and move forward. As soon as I made the choice, I felt peace and relief. I know that if at some point the peace leaves, I can choose to make another change.

Sometimes it's hard to make a choice when we really value doing the right thing. As long as we aren't choosing to do something in violation of God's ways or our conscience, we can move forward with courage and confidence. Even if we choose "wrong", God is able to make everything work out for our best.

Key Idea: pray, get in peace, submit to God,

and choose the "scary but exciting" choice!