Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Phil. 2:3-4)
Healthy boundaries are:
1. A way to be healthy in order to love God and others well.
2. A way to protect other people from you.
3. A tool to give you power to control yourself.
You do not get to control other people. You are the only person you can control.
You are only responsible for the things in your own yard. The kinds of things that are in your yard are YOUR:
You are not responsible for these in other people. You only get to control YOU.
It is not your job to keep everyone around you happy. You cannot afford to work harder on other people’s lives than they are willing to.
Boundaries are all about self-control. They are about having a plan so that you can be who you need to be, to accomplish the call God has on your life.
An example of a good boundary with time is:
Don’t let other people push you to make a quick decision. Take the time you need to think things through. Tell the person you will get back to them, then be sure to show them honor by following through.
An example of a boundary with your words is:
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. (Phil 2:14-15)
You get to choose what comes out of your own mouth. You do not get to pick what other people say. Let your words create life.
An example of boundaries with your attitude is:
If you're grumpy, send yourself to your room, go for a drive, or take a walk. You need to protect other people from you. This is a great way to preserve a peaceful atmosphere in your family. You can just tell your family that you need a time out.
Here is a clear boundary for your thought life:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (Phil 4:8)