Learning, Stretching, & Growing

Just want to quickly bring you up to speed on what I’ve been learning and doing since I stopped writing to you every single Monday morning. At the beginning of 2019, I took at look at everything going on in my life to see which things I needed to start doing and which things I needed to stop doing. (I strongly recommend that you periodically do the same.)

It became clear that in this season I need to focus on:

  • My family

  • My health

  • Helping others get healthy

  • My job at Heartland Church

    I’ve been intentionally restructuring my life around these things.

Remember how I eliminated 22 pounds in 2.5 months last fall? It STILL SHOCKS ME every time I walk by a mirror! 😁

It's been 8 months since I reached my goal weight, and I'm still loving this new life! The new healthy habits I've learned are so amazing! I'm sooo thankful to my health coach mama, Leanne Goff! I wouldn't be where I am today without her. 

If you want to talk about whether this program might be a good fit for you, I would love to connect with you. It has been a total game-changer for me.


If you’ve been following me on facebook, you’ve had a front seat view of it all. If you haven’t been, I’d love to be facebook friends with you!

Beyond my own health journey, coaching others has been so much fun! Seeing others totally take their life back is just incredible. We are all truly getting health mind, body, and finances.

My amazing husband, Christopher, decided to get healthy too and has eliminated 25 pounds in the past couple months! I’m so proud of him! Here he is with a lot of clothes he had to pass along, and we will be shopping for some smaller ones. 

You see, we have a race to run and a whole lot of good years ahead of us. That's why we know we need to take care of ourselves. All for HIS GLORY!!! 


The books in the photo below are some of the ones that have been stretching and growing me like crazy!

While I don’t necessarily endorse everything in these books, I do believe in eating the meat and spitting out the bones.

While I don’t necessarily endorse everything in these books, I do believe in eating the meat and spitting out the bones.


My own mindsets have been shifting and getting so much healthier too! I love learning and growing and that’s a big part of what the health journey is all about.

If you have questions about whether this health program would be a good fit for you to join either as a client or coach, I would love to talk with you about it.

Fatigue makes cowards of us all. -Vince Lombardi

You know how when you fly somewhere, they always tell you in case of emergency to put your own oxygen mask on first? The same principle applies when it comes to taking care of yourself.

It's so important to get the rest that you need. That's why God told us to rest 1 day out of every 7. If you don't take care of your health, you won't have anything left to give to your loved ones.

When doubt and discouragement come against me, it's usually when I'm worn out. Things that normally seem like a wonderful challenge tend to be much scarier when I'm exhausted.

That's the time when I'm the most vulnerable and discouraged. If I'm not doing what I need to do to recharge, I leave myself open for the enemy to attack my mind and body.

You are important. Don't forget to take care of yourself so that you can show up powerfully in your sphere of influence!

Fatigue makes cowards of us all. -Vince Lombardi


Breaking Up With Fear

It's easy to go down a trail of imagining the worst even when things really are going well. It starts with the thought "what if."

  • What if an armed robber breaks into my house?

  • What if my spouse gets killed in a car wreck on their way home from work?

  • What if my kid gets a horrible disease?

If we're not careful we can get ourselves all worked up about something that may never happen. We can waste our precious time mentally planning out funerals that aren't going to happen anytime soon. This is how you partner with fear. It is vain imagination hard at work.

You can partner with peace by turning your "what if's" into things that agree with God.

  • What if God really, really loves me?

  • What if God wants to use my life to touch the world around me?

  • What if God has given me everything I need to live an amazing life?

This is glorified imagination. Going down this path will fill your heart with hope!

Key Idea: Worry is a misuse of your imagination.


Happy new year!


I’m so thankful to God for the gift of this health journey I started in August! It has seriously been the easiest and best thing I have ever done for my health.

I seriously thought that once I hit 40, my metabolism was shot and I’d never be at a healthy weight again. I figured it was just normal to gain weight with age, but what I found out is that there is a program that literally works 100% of the time if you make the choice to follow it.

I’m still getting over the shock of how amazing I feel now! I have more energy than I have ever had in my life, even when I was a kid. I even tap my foot when I’m sitting still because I have so much energy. My metabolism has been totally reset!

It has been so much fun helping others get healthy too. The transformations are about so much more than weight loss.

I have friends who have literally gotten off of blood pressure and diabetes meds in a matter of weeks because of how amazing this program works.

I know so many are looking forward to getting healthy in 2019 and trying to decide what path to take. Let me know if you want to talk about whether this program would be a good fit for you moving into 2019. I would love to help you get healthy too!


When It's Time to Push

Recently I had a few days where I felt like I was pushing against a brick wall. I had all of these things in my heart to accomplish and had been working towards them with diligence for many months when I came to a spot where I smacked into what felt like strong resistance.

As I was driving down the road thinking things through, I passed a middle school football field. That was the moment when I was able to put my jumbled up, frustrated feelings into words. I felt like I had been pushing against one of those blocking sleds they use in football practice.


Having that picture in my head brought me relief and peace. I realized that I was actually in a good spot. Sometimes to get something off the ground you have to push. Pushing is hard, painful work. The fact that it is time to push means that something awesome is about to break forth.

When I was in labor with my first son, there was a distinct moment when the pain became so strong, that I just wanted to stop, climb out of the hospital bed, and go home. I had been waiting for that day with all of my heart for nine months, honestly for my whole life. When the pain became overwhelming I just wanted to "stick a pin in it" and try again another day.

Turn back the clock another 23 years. When my mom was ready to give birth to me something crazy happened. When the time to push came, her doctor instructed the nurses to hold her off for what turned out to be several hours. This delay caused physical damage to my mom. She had to have follow-up surgery and ended up only being able to bear two children when she would have liked to have had more.

Sometimes you just have to push! Quitting is not an option, and delay is dangerous.

This is the moment when the resistance actually works for you. Great breakthrough is imminent if you keep pressing forward.

Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. John 16:21 NASB

I'm realizing that my biggest breakthroughs come when I keep pushing.

(Please do not take this as permission to push against God or against your leaders in a rebellious way. That is definitely not what I am suggesting. If you push too early, you will birth a preemie and go through a lot of added stress.)

Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19 NASB


What To Do When You Just Can't Decide

Do you ever have a hard time making a decision? It can be especially hard if you're the type of person who really wants to get it right. The higher the stakes, the harder the choice.

Things can seem so foggy when you're looking at your own life, but when you look into someone else's situation it's often very clear. We tend to either be really hard on ourselves or go too easy on ourselves. If you can't make a decision or you just don't know what to do, imagine yourself advising someone else in your situation. What would you tell them? 

It can be really hard to make a choice when you highly value doing the right thing. As long as you aren't choosing to do something in violation of God's ways or your conscience, you can move forward with courage and confidence. Even if you choose "wrong", God is able to make everything work out for your best.

When you have a decision to make:

  • Pray about it

  • If you're married, get into unity with your spouse about it

  • Bounce it off the people in your inner circle

  • Say no to fear

  • Pick the "scary but exciting option"

To break free from gridlock, you will have to choose to let go of all of the "what if's" and move forward.  If at some point the peace leaves, you can choose to make a change.




Now Is Not Forever

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right but getting nowhere? If so, this post is for you!

Things may not look promising right now, but everything can change in a moment.


No matter what you’re going through in this season, I want to encourage you to hold on to God and continue planting good seeds. If you plant good seeds, you will get a good harvest in time. This is a promise from God, and God cannot lie!

No matter what God calls you to do, He will always provide the grace to walk it out. It may not always feel like it in the process, but looking back later, you will be able to clearly see His hand.

Wisdom doesn’t make decisions based on short-term results, rather it makes choices based on long-term goals.

If you feel like you’ve done everything you know to do, and you’ve asked God if there’s anything you’re missing, it’s time to stand firm. When you’ve done all you know to do, STAND.

If you feel like distancing yourself from friends and family, choose to continue to make deposits into their love tanks. You may not see an immediate change, but in time you will.

Keep on doing what you know is right. God will be faithful to finish the work He started in you!


How To Handle Rejection

Have you ever been betrayed? In order to be betrayed, you have to have loved and trusted someone deeply.

It is stunning to me that Jesus knew from the beginning that Judas would betray Him, but it did not hold Him back from including Judas in His inner circle and risking His heart.

I think that if I knew ahead of time that someone was going to betray me, I would not even introduce myself much less bring the person into my inner circle.

Jesus is so different from me. He blows my mind. He keeps His love turned on towards all people 100% of the time.

For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who it was that would betray Him. (John 6:64b NASB)

Jesus' life illustrates this truth: even if you do everything absolutely perfectly, you will still experience rejection.   -Tweet This

Perfection does not equal acceptance from the people around you.

You might even say that the more Christ-like you become, the more you may experience rejection.

Jesus walked in confidence because His sense of self-worth did not come from His companions.

When the Jews wanted to kill Him He said,  “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing. (John 5:19-20 NASB)

Jesus' identity was completed wrapped up in what the Father thought about Him and in living according to His Father's wishes.  

You won't be healed of your rejection by analyzing the source of your rejection but by looking at the source of your acceptance. -Bob Sorge

Your Father loves you with the same exact love He loves Jesus with. Make living your life in Him your highest aim and the acceptance or rejection from people will lose its hold on you.

Any pain you have stored up in your heart from betrayal belongs to you. You can choose to own it and to let it go. Choose to let it go today!

I bless you to live in peace.

What Brand Are You?

As children we tend to absorb labels. Our parents should be the ones who brand us with good words, calling us up into our destinies. In many cases our parents carried negative labels themselves and had no clue how to brand us or that it was even part of their job description.

Some common labels are:

  • scatterbrained

  • shy

  • dumb

  • lazy

  • below average

  • dramatic

  • stubborn

  • clumsy

  • accident prone

Maybe a doctor or other "professional" labeled you with:

  • ADHD

  • DID

  • PTSD or some other series of letters

These labels do not have the power to define you forever unless you let them.

  • You can move beyond your childhood and be a powerful adult.

  • You were a child then. You are not now. You are an adult.

  • You really can throw off all of those old labels from when you were a child and embrace new labels.

  • You have generations of ancestors cheering you on!

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.  (Hebrews 12:1 NASB)

Key idea: You do not have to be who you have always been.

Key strategy: Who do you need to be in order to do what you want to do? Put it into one sentence. Put it in your reminders in your phone and set the alarm to go off at a certain time each day. Read it out loud each day. Do it until it feels true and natural.

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.  (1 Corinthians 13:11)

A Simple Solution for a Pesky Problem

I want to tell you something ridiculous. I had a little problem of an explosion of shoes and socks in my laundry room for 12 years. I had a shoe shelf for people to put their shoes on and a basket for socks, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the family to use them. They would just throw everything on the floor and call it good.

The crazy thing is, I couldn’t make myself do any differently than them. When I would get tired of the mess or if people were coming over, I would just shove everything over and close the door!


A couple weeks ago my oldest son, Judah, finally figured out how to fix the problem. He suggested that we move the shoe shelf to the other side of the room. You see, it was kind of half-hidden behind the door. Just like that - BOOM - the 12-year-old problem was solved.

That pesky problem is no more, and every time I walk past the laundry room I feel happy instead of annoyed. The solution was so ridiculously simple. I have no idea why it didn’t occur to me 11+ years ago.

As I was thinking about moving the shelf to the other side, I thought of when the disciples were fishing and Jesus told them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat. You see, Jesus has a solution ready for every single problem we face.

Sometimes we think His answer seems too simple or silly, and sometimes we just forget to ask Him. My laundry room situation made me think: why didn’t I just ask Jesus what the solution was 12 years ago?  

When Relief Is Only Temporary...

Have you ever experienced relief from a problem only to have it come right back? Sometimes the issue is a result of warfare or just natural circumstances, but other times it’s a direct result of our own stubbornness.

King Saul disobeyed the Lord, and because of his disobedience, he was tormented by an evil spirit. He found that he got relief from the torment only when David played his harp and worshiped the Lord.

That’s amazing, but the relief was only temporary. David could not possibly play 24/7. As great as the gift of David’s worship was, Saul could’ve easily found permanent relief by humbling himself and repenting of his sin.


This same thing happens over and over today. People hide sin in their hearts and they end up suffering because of it. Then they go to church and experience God’s presence in worship. God’s presence is so wonderful and powerful that they experience some relief. But the relief is only temporary.

As followers of Jesus, we can’t just look for a “fix". It’s not enough to merely experience some temporary relief. We need to look to Him for Him.

You see, true peace only comes through being absolutely surrendered and obedient to Jesus. Partner with the Holy Spirit, who is your Helper, to live a life of purity and obedience! This is the pathway out of anxiety and into peace!

Today I want to share this amazing message by Havilah Cunnington. It is one of the best things I’ve heard in a while. Please check it out by using the button below.

Are You Sleeping With A Python?

There was a woman who had a pet python. Over time she noticed that her beloved pet was not eating. She took the snake to the veterinarian to see what could be done about the problem. The doctor asked an odd question, "Does your pet sleep with you?"


Yuck! Turns out that indeed the pet snake shared the woman's bed. The doctor proceeded to inform the woman that her beloved python was starving itself so that it would be hungry enough to eat her when just the right moment arrived.

Wow! Let that sink in for a moment.

This story troubles me so much. It makes me want to just weep for people who I love, who are sleeping with their "pythons" and believing that it is a safe and acceptable way to live.

Rest Assured:

Your sin will find you out. (Numbers 32:23b)

It's time to take a big ax and chop off the head of that ugly snake. Don't delay another day. I beg you to do it now before it swallows you alive.

If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell. (Matthew 5:30)

Maybe you need to get rid of your phone or cable, or maybe you have some friendships or a relationship that you need to end. These measures are not too extreme.

If God is convicting you of something, agree with Him quickly and get a fresh start.

What Do You Do When Your Nose Is Out of Joint?

Have you ever heard anyone say they got their nose out of joint? Usually what they mean by that is that they needed an attitude adjustment.

As you probably know, I’ve been getting my health in order and feeling better than I have in years. But what you probably don’t know is I have been struggling with a pesky, painful spot in my lower back.

The muscles have been extremely tight, and that’s part of what has been causing my problem. Apparently, my hips have been out of joint, and that has been putting pressure on the other parts of my core. I’ve been getting deep tissue massages, but in addition to that I needed to make a trip to the chiropractor.


You see, the massage therapist can help the muscles relax, but if something in your frame is out of place, the relief is only temporary. Turns out my L5 was out of alignment, and I’m getting better now!

When you have something out of place, the chiropractor is a whiz at getting you straightened out. Combine this with a massage therapist and you’ve got a winning plan.

But what do you do when your nose is out of joint? Who do you call when you’ve allowed your heart and mind to get out of alignment with God?

It can be helpful to talk things through with a trusted mentor, but in the end you have to humble yourself and work with God to get your heart and mind adjusted. Your heart and mind are your responsibility. Don’t just wait for God to magically change you. You have to work with Him.

You see, I couldn’t just sit at home and expect the chiropractor to magically fix my condition. I had to get in my van, drive to his office, and humbly lie down on the table. I had to take a deep breath, let it slowly out, and allow him to push on me until everything popped back into place.

If your nose is out of joint, don’t wait any longer. It’s time to take care of business and get things in order. If you don’t, it will affect all of the other parts of your life.

Barreness, Destiny, and Faith

Maybe you already knew this, but I just learned something in Scripture that I had missed my whole life. I grew up hearing all of the Bible stories from the time I was very little. I was even able to win Bible trivia as a kid playing with adults, but somehow I missed this!

You know how God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations? He promised that Abraham’s descendants would outnumber the stars in the sky and the sand on the earth! That, my friend, is a lot of babies.

We know that God cannot lie, but wow, Abraham and Sarah had to wrestle through and partner with God in faith, to see their one son of promise come into the world. Ok, that part I was very familiar with, but I hadn’t put it together in my mind that Abraham’s son Isaac and his wife also struggled with infertility for many years until God at last opened Rebekah’s womb. (Genesis 25:21)


Then… Isaac’s son Jacob went through the exact same thing with his favorite wife Rachel! Three generations in a row struggled year after year with the pain of infertility when God had promised to make their family into more descendants than anyone could ever count!

This tells us a couple things:

  • We often face great opposition in the area of our promise

  • Standing in faith brings breakthrough in our destiny

If Abraham and his sons had stopped believing, we would not call God the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob today.

How Some Horses Taught Me To Pray

I want to tell you a little story. When I was growing up we lived in at least 22 different houses that I can remember. My parents were missionaries, so we were very mobile. This is a story about something that happened at one of the places we lived in Texas.

I would’ve been about 12 years old, when a family we were friends with decided to go to Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Belize for a 6-month school. They were looking for people to house sit for them, and we happened to be looking for somewhere to live. That was that. They moved out, and we moved in. No big deal, right?

Well, what made it interesting was the little fact that the family owned 4 horses, and we had to take care of them! Not one of us knew anything about horses. I was really excited about it though. I mean, what 12-year-old girl doesn’t want to “own” a horse!


The family gave us a crash course on how to feed the horses, and then they left us to it. Fun fact, they neglected to tell us that one of the horses was pregnant!

One day after school, I asked my mom if I could get one of the horses out to go for a ride. She told me to wait until my dad got home. If only I would’ve listened instead of hassling her! Instead, I begged and bothered her until she gave in.

When I went over to the field to get the horse, I couldn’t close the gate behind it fast enough. A second horse came right on out with it, and they both ran straight to the barn. When I got over to the barn door, all I could see was the backsides of the two horses blocking the doorway as they chowed down on horse feed.


That was the moment that I wished I had listened to my mom. My anxiety level spiked, and I started to cry. You see, I really didn’t want to get kicked by a horse, and there was no way those horses were going to come out of there on their own anytime soon.

In my desperation, I went over to the swings and sat there praying for God to help me. I remember that I started singing worship songs as I cried. My 12-year-old self needed a serious miracle, or I was going to be in big trouble.

After a few minutes, a neighbor we had never met walked into our yard. I’m not sure what made her come, because the neighborhood was very spread out and had a lot of large, leafy trees. It’s not like she could’ve just walked by and seen what was going on.

Well, this girl knew right what to do. She walked right up to those horses, slapped their hind ends, dragged them out of the barn, and put them right back into the field. I couldn’t believe it! God had sent help!

Call to Me, and I will answer you. Jeremiah 33:3a


This is the first time I remember worshipping and praying for a breakthrough. It may seem like a small thing looking back now, but I learned an important lesson. God listens when we humble ourselves and cry out to Him. He knows exactly how to help us clean up our mess.

Is It Time To Update Your Playlist?

Have you seen the Pixar movie Inside Out? It shows the inside workings of a little girl's memory bank. From time to time an annoying bubble gum commercial ditty randomly pops into her head.

Get a copy of the movie here!

This basic memory function is what advertisers who write jingles depend on. If they can plant messages in our minds, we can definitely do it to ourselves too.

It’s so great to have scripture playing in the soundtrack of your day instead of negativity. As you meditate on God’s Word, the enemy’s lies and accusations get blocked out.

When I was a kid we used to sing this verse to a fun, little tune. From time to time it pops into my head and sticks around for a while.

He that dwells in the secret place of the most High

shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge

and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.

Psalm 91:1-2 KJV 2000

Singing the scripture is such a great way to get God’s Word in your heart. Once you’ve learned a verse to song, it stays in a place in your brain for years. At any moment the Word can spring forth into your memory.

Do you have a certain tune that pops into your head from time to time?

Putting scripture to song is a fun way to fight back. It really is a powerful weapon for you. Think of it as part of putting on the full armor of God.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

Ephesians 6:11

Intentionally get God’s Word into your heart and mind, then meditate on it as you go about your daily routine!

Which piece of armor do you think singing the Bible best represents? Helmet of Salvation, Breastplate of Righteousness, Sword of the Spirit, Belt of Truth, or Shoes of Peace?

I just listened to a podcast by Joel Osteen about this very thing. It was so good, that I decided to share it with you here! After you click the button below, select the episode called The Right Recording.


My husband’s first book is now available on Amazon!

Has your heart been filled with longing to know how to enter God’s presence? Has there been a desire to not just touch His presence, but learn how to cultivate and abide in His presence? Come On In To Papa’s Presence teaches theologically and practically, with Scripture and stories, how to live life in Papa’s presence.    Through this book, allow the Holy Spirit to take you on a journey of overcoming barriers that keep us from His presence and experiencing the depths of His love. As you go on this journey, don’t just read about the encounters in this book, but invite the Lord to take you into your own experiences with Him.    If you’ve never experienced His presence, let this be a tool in the hand of God as you begin your journey. If you’re already acquainted with God’s presence, let this book be an invitation to go deeper than ever before.

Has your heart been filled with longing to know how to enter God’s presence? Has there been a desire to not just touch His presence, but learn how to cultivate and abide in His presence? Come On In To Papa’s Presence teaches theologically and practically, with Scripture and stories, how to live life in Papa’s presence.

Through this book, allow the Holy Spirit to take you on a journey of overcoming barriers that keep us from His presence and experiencing the depths of His love. As you go on this journey, don’t just read about the encounters in this book, but invite the Lord to take you into your own experiences with Him.

If you’ve never experienced His presence, let this be a tool in the hand of God as you begin your journey. If you’re already acquainted with God’s presence, let this book be an invitation to go deeper than ever before.


Don't Spew On The Ones You Love

I bet that if you had a stomach virus, you would never intentionally walk up to your loved ones and puke in their faces. Gross! Who would ever do that to anyone, much less than to the people who really matter to them?

Reasonable people try to stay away from others when they're sick. They do it out of mercy and kindness. They stay away until they are well, and no longer contagious. If the sickness doesn't seem to be passing, they get to a doctor to do their best to resolve the situation. Being sick is no fun for the one who is sick or for the rest of the family.

Why is it that we let emotional issues go unsorted for years and years? When the emotional pain buttons in our lives get pushed, the fallout hurts the people around us at least as much it hurts us. It’s time to disconnect those buttons.

You know, the secret areas of pain that you keep hidden and hope that no one ever finds out about? I have news for you, people may not know the specifics, but they can certainly feel the painful symptoms.

If you aren't willing to get healthy for your sake, at least do the hard work of getting yourself sorted out for the sake of the people you love. You really don't want people around you to feel like they have to spend their whole lives walking on eggshells.

Don't delay. Get the help you need. Make an appointment with a counselor or reach out to get with a mature, trusted mentor. If you live in central Iowa, you could come to Freedom Ministry at Heartland Church. It's held the 2nd Tuesday of each month from 6 - 8 pm.

In the video below, my mom and I discuss what she wished she would’ve known before she got married. Much of the content of the video is directly related to today’s theme of getting your heart and mind healthy.


I was recently in Ohio with my mom, and we recorded this video WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THIS HEALTH JOURNEY.

If you’ve been following my blog for any time at all, you know that I’m passionate about helping you live in peace and hope! That’s why I’m so excited about this health journey. I know that so many people live exhausted and worried about their overall health.

This program is a game changer if you have concerns about your:

  • Energy level

  • Inflammation

  • Excess weight

  • Diabetes

  • High blood pressure

  • Sleep problems & more

    If you have questions about getting some peace and hope in your health, I’d love to talk with you to see if this program would be a good fit for you!


Can A Godly Person Have Boundaries?

Boundaries indicate limits. They are the fence around you that keeps good things in and bad things out.  

I have a chain link fence in my backyard. We paid good money to have it built because we had small kids who we wanted to keep safe. We also wanted to keep the neighbor’s large dogs from walking right up to our back door and trying to come inside our house.

 Boundaries are not:  

1.     An excuse to be selfish or rude.

2.     A way to turn you into me.

3.     A way to control other people.

Making demands is a form of control. You cannot demand of someone and show honor to them at the same time.


Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Phil. 2:3-4)                             

Healthy boundaries are:

1.     A way to be healthy in order to love God and others well.

2.     A way to protect other people from you.

3.     A tool to give you power to control yourself.

You do not get to control other people. You are the only person you can control.

You are only responsible for the things in your own yard. The kinds of things that are in your yard are YOUR:

  • Feelings

  • Attitudes

  • Beliefs

  • Behaviors

  • Actions

  • Choices

  • Thoughts

  • Values

  • Limits

  • Talents

  • Strengths

  • Desires

  • Passions

  • Love

You are not responsible for these in other people. You only get to control YOU.

It is not your job to keep everyone around you happy. You cannot afford to work harder on other people’s lives than they are willing to.

Boundaries are all about self-control. They are about having a plan so that you can be who you need to be, to accomplish the call God has on your life.

 An example of a good boundary with time is:

Don’t let other people push you to make a quick decision. Take the time you need to think things through. Tell the person you will get back to them, then be sure to show them honor by following through.

An example of a boundary with your words is:

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. (Phil 2:14-15)

You get to choose what comes out of your own mouth. You do not get to pick what other people say. Let your words create life.

An example of boundaries with your attitude is:

If you're grumpy, send yourself to your room, go for a drive, or take a walk. You need to protect other people from you. This is a great way to preserve a peaceful atmosphere in your family. You can just tell your family that you need a time out.

Here is a clear boundary for your thought life:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (Phil 4:8)  


What can you do when someone hurts you? Matthew 18 lays out the solution very clearly.

1.     If your brother sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

2.     But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

3.      If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

When you go to talk to the person who has offended you, your motive needs to be to restore unity, not to pick at the other person or try to make them be just like you.

Always assume the best about the other person. Say something like, “I am probably missing something, but I feel like (insert the feeling and specific incident). Can you help me understand the situation better?”

If you do not feel that the situation is resolved, pull in an impartial, mature mediator to help you.

If you still cannot get to a place of unity, you will want to bring the matter to your pastor or leader. 

Can a godly person have boundaries? Did Jesus have boundaries?

1.    Jesus often went away alone to pray even though the crowds were pressing in for His attention.

2.     He did not get off track with other people’s agendas for His life. He said that He only did what His Father was doing and saying.

3.     He said that He is the ONLY way to the Father. No one can get to the Father except through Him.

Key Idea: Ask Jesus to show you any boundaries you need to make or any walls you need to tear down.

They're Just Them

It can be easy to think that other people can do things that you can't do. It's easy to look at people who are doing the things you wish you could do and think that they have something you don't have. They do: a different mindset.

You see, I can sit back thinking that I can't do the really cool things that other people are doing because I'm just me, or I can realize that they're just them

If you want to go to Italy or some other dream destination, go ahead and get your passport. That's the first step. Next, ask Jesus how He wants to provide the plane ticket. Maybe there's a temporary job He wants to open up to bring in the resources you need for the trip.


If you want to start a business, google how to write a business plan, and then write it. You don't have to have everything figured out right away. The first step is to do some research. If you are reading this, it shows that you have access at the tips of your fingers to loads of helpful information to get you started.

If you want to improve your relationships, you can. You might have to be really vulnerable and have some awkward conversations, but what's on the other side of that is better than living with unhealthy patterns of behavior for the rest of your life. 

If you want to make some changes towards good health, you can do it. I'd even be happy to coach you along your health journey. 

Key idea: Don't disqualify yourself and think that you can't do the awesome things that you see other people doing. You are just as much of a person as they are. You truly can take steps towards your destiny starting today! 

Getting Packed For The Promised Land

Now is not the time to just sit around and wait for your promised land to come to you. It's time to get up and forcefully move into your promised land. 

It may seem like the process of getting to your dreams is taking too long, but the process is actually more about you becoming the person you will need to be, so you can stay and thrive in the promised land once you get there.

Before you enter, you need to pack. You need to take some steps to get prepared.

So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: Go through the camp and tell the people, ‘Get your provisions ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the Lord your God is giving you for your own.' Joshua 1:10-11


This is the time to form new habits. What new habits do you need in order to be able to rock it when you get into your promised land? Maybe you need some:

  • new habits of health
  • new habits in relationships
  • new habits in your connection with God

Some of the things I've been doing to get ready for my next season are:

  • organizing my email and digital files so I have a clear place to work from
  • getting healthy so I have the physical and mental stamina for the journey
  • making sure I am keeping strong heart connections with my husband and kids

Do the work today, build your spiritual, relational, and physical strength now, so that you will be able to fulfill all of the things God has for you in the future.

Now is not the time to sit back and be passive. It's time to take one step at a time in the direction of your promised land!